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It was shortly after being kicked out of Opus Dei for being found with a donkey in my room (I was practising for a nativity re-enactment, I swear) that I decided to turn my back on prayer, soul searching and reflection and instead write embittered songs about the state of the world.
Since then I’ve turned down countless multi-million pound record deals from all the major players in the industry, preferring instead to sweat for hours over my computer in a room you couldn’t swing a cat in (any sudden movements result in a guitar, keyboard or mic stand crashing to the floor – just as well none of them are actually worth anything).
Have full creative control over what I produce has many advantages: it allows me to sit down and set out to write a killer track about sex, drugs and rock and roll and end up with whining apocalyptic diatribes about self-serving politicians and the short-sightedness of the human race in general. Great.
My musical ambition? To write one of those songs that despite getting on everyone’s t*ts, still gets played hourly on the thousands of middle-of-the-road radio stations that pollute all our airwaves…Or maybe a Christmas ‘classic’ that you would hear a hundred times during the consumer-fest the birth of Christ now represents…Or a ‘cliché song’, you know, like “Simply The Best” which, aside from whatever musical quality it may or may not have, will always get played by unimaginative TV and radio producers to illustrate a piece about almost any sort of achievement. Write a song like that and the PRS cheques will be coming forever….Oh yeah, and something deep, credible and worthwhile would be good too…
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