Tony's last gig

I thought I'd share my experience of Tony's service.

It was the last service of the day at Walton Lea Crematoruim just outside Warrington in Cheshire and the first thing I noticed was that the list of services mentioned our friend as having the middle name "Anthony". I guess that's where the "Tony" bit comes from. Later on, his brother Mike (aka Gilbert Briggs) told me the "Miller" name was his wife's mum's maiden name.

I met Marty (KtA) and Pete (Gravity Slip) and was very pleased to see them. I've met Marty before a couple of times but this was my first meeting with Pete. Glad you were there dudes.

The service was non-religious (secular?) which suited me because I have no religious beliefs worth mentioning and, at the appointed time, the moderately sized gathering entered the building to the sound of George Harrison's "Something". You know the one that goes "something in the way she moves, attracts me like no other lover...".

I knew George was his favourite Beatle and I believe "something" is the only song penned by GH that was released as a Beatles single.

Anyway, we all sat down and we were handed large stemmed orange sun daisies. It was a fairly laid-back ceremony and it seemed to me that the guy doing the service did actually know Tony/Kevan. It's a bit of a blur what he said but please forgive me for that. Maybe Pete and Marty remember more?

Sarah, Kevan's daughter was invited to say a few words and this was quite emotional. She said her dad was her best friend and had helped her through college and various points in her life. There was geneuine honesty here I must say and clearly Kevan was well-thought of by all his family and friends. Again, I'm hoping Pete or marty might contribute because my mind's gone a little blank on this. Sarah did say that her dad had mades lots of friends on the internet and she particularly mentioned MP3Unsigned as the major source of those friendships.

And finally Miller got to me. This part of the ceremony allowed us all to go up and take the flowers we had been given and place them on the coffin. The bit that got to me was that the background music was "Shine on you crazy diamond" by Pink Floyd which, happens to be my favourite floyd track so, now I'll never be able to hear it again without thinking of the old git!!! I wouldn't have it any other way.

I gave Tony's missus a hug and reminded her that we'd met at one of his gigs and then we all sat down again for the closing part of the ceremony. You know what happens; the curtains close and it's all over too quickly but is there a better way I ask?

Final piece of music was Jeff Beck's Lilac Wine with vocal by Imelda May. Nice.

There was to be a gathering about 20 miles down the road closer to Tony's home town of Winsford and Pete said he's take Marty down for a pint then head back. At that point Marty remarked about my shitty green/yellow Ford Ka saying something like "I need to get a new one" or "are you still driving that heap of rust" but, how often do words come back to haunt? I was to follow Pete in his car but his car wouldn't start - him and Mart were stranded at the crem.

I made some kind of gesture (guess what) and left them to it!!! It turned out that the fuel pump was kaput and they needed to be towed back home. Nevertheless, I'm sure Pete doesn't regret going but he may have regretted joining in with Marty taking the piss outta my nail.

I spoke with Mike (aka Gilbert), Tony's bro back at the pub and he told me that he had formed a blues/rock band with Tony (and had started to gig) but Tony had become too ill to continue. I also spoke with Jean (no aka), Tony's wife and she said tony and her had been together married for 39 years.

I don't know how to end this message because it seems I should have more to say about Tony - I really will miss him.

[tbwig]

Many of the MP3U community could not attend, so any recollection, however vague at times (entirely understandable), is appreciated. The words paint a picture, and bring closure to Ton'y's passage, for all of us. The "here today, gone tomorrow" of Tony's presence on mp3u makes it difficult for friends and acquaintances, whose relationships are developed in the ethereal world of the internet, to find the kind of closure that attendance at a service brings.
Thanks again for sharing...in songs on mp3u and in words of remembrance.

[dawnsinclair]

That was a precious account Andy son thanks for sharing. As you know, my family did some research about the journey for me to go there and it turned out to be a nightmare, a very costly one too, so we decided you'd have to carry my sentiments on your shoulders when you went. But it went off well and I'd have loved to be there, despite the fact that I cry at the drop of a hat and that curtain closing thing is a killer for me....

Harrison, Floyd and Jeff Beck....class or what? Certainly does shed some light on the sounds he made on his guitar etc....

There are probably people on the site who think we are making a bit of a meal about all this but I recall a similar shared grief being experienced when a lady called Mary Gottschalk (probably spelt that wrong) passed away. I had only been here a little while and didn't know of her but she had affected so many lives that it seemed the entire membership was in shock. Well, that's how Kev's demise is for us....he really made a difference to so many and you cannot honestly say many people could say the same when they finally get their coat eh?


On this site, I could name dozens because we all care about each other that much. I hope that never changes.

[DJC]

Thanks for sharing this Andy, so grateful that you, Pete and Marty got to represent the mp3unsigned community that Tony thought so much of, by the remarks his daughter made.

Remind me not to insult your car when I see you....

[Snidcyco]

One thing I'd like to ask about is the "closure" Terry mentioned. I know some Americans love this word (it helps them justify capital punishment, among other things) but I wasn't aware it was a buzzword spanning all of North America.

Sorry to go completely off-topic there, but for me the word "closure" is off-topic here. I don't want to forget Tony and move on to a new chapter, and couldn't even if I tried. He was a part of my life and I am happy for that. I don't want to close that chapter and throw it away.

I don't mean to be attacking you Terry, it could be my misunderstanding of the term "closure" (from a European perspective?) and the meaning behind it.

I've heard you used to be a preacher, or at least very religious. Can you explain what you mean by "closure"? if it means intentionally closing the Tony chapter forever, then I'm sorry. No can do.

[James Oakwood]

For the record, I felt nothing that could be described as "closure" by attending the funeral. In fact, that part when the curtains close has never given me closure of anyone dying - that part always seems a bit rushed (on every funeral I've attended) and has made me feel inwardly antagonistic towards modern protocols and customs. But apart from having your loved ones stuffed and mounted or, having some kind of mass button-press when you are ready to leave I don't see an alternative.

I'm sure Terry meant something more like closure on the unacceptance of Tony's death rather than closure on the whole memory of Tony.

[LIQUID]

Andy that was eloquently recalled and your a credit to your old pal. I don't (if I'm honest) do too well with people but despite my inability to comfortably relate to others its never lost on me when I witness the warmth of others.

[KtA]

Originally Posted by Snidcyco

One thing I'd like to ask about is the "closure" Terry mentioned. I know some Americans love this word (it helps them justify capital punishment, among other things) but I wasn't aware it was a buzzword spanning all of North America.

Actually,I think in this context,closure just means being able to say your goodbyes and pay your respects...and generally celebrate their life.

I liked the Humanist service.
It didn't focus on the morbid side of Tony's passing.
Obviously,it was still a very sad occasion,but for me it highlighted how Tony had touched so many lives,both on a personal level and also through his music.

[Lodato]

Really Andy, thank you for that. I felt like I was there. The only thing dead about Tony is his body. His real body is what he leaves us all with and that's his music. That's where he lives really and still does I truly believe this. You can tell from every note he played. Jeez, the evidence is everywhere including inside us where it will sneak out of our music at times.

Thank again A.

be well all
-rich

[Snidcyco]

Thanks guys. Reading back over Terry's words, I'm sure you're right that that's what he meant Mart. And this:

Originally Posted by Lodato

The only thing dead about Tony is his body. His real body is what he leaves us all with and that's his music. That's where he lives really and still does I truly believe this.

is just about the best way of putting it. Thanks Rich.