Help! Advice needed!

Recently, we had a 'band meeting', discussing strategies for moving forward, getting more people interested, etc. After the meeting, myself and my guitarist and bass player stayed around chatting. Basically, what we discussed was this: they can't get anyone to come out to see us, even their friends, because of our vocalist. I've always had people make comments to me that the music is unbelievable but they didn't like the singer. I always wrote it off as people just not 'getting it', or differences in taste. But the comments from my friends coupled with all the comments they relayed to me pieced together a bigger puzzle. They (my guitarist and bassist) don't even like the vocals either, and never have. I never had as huge a problem with them, thinking they added a 'quirkiness' to our music. They really want to hear how the music would sound with a true singer.
We would like to bring this up to him, but we're not sure how he'd take it. Actually, I know he will be crushed. He has no clue that people feel this way, and thinks this band is his ticket to a better life. We are convinced that can't happen as long as he is the singer. They said they are both willing to keep things going the way they are, just because they love the music we create together, but I don't think we can continue knowing that they won't be liking whatever he is putting on top of the music.
We'd like to tell him in a way that will spare his feelings, and would want to stay a part of the band as a horn player. He has been my friend for over 25 years, and I'm really torn about how to approach this. I already feel like I'm betraying him by talking about him behind his back for the past 2 weeks.
Anyone with advice on how to handle this - help!!!

[TonyMiller]

Unless he can't hold a tune (and I've heard you so I know that's not true) maybe he just needs a different vocal direction. You need to know what you want your vocals to sound like, maybe by comparing to bands etc you like. Once you know that, you can determine whether he/she can do that.

I'm sure it would be easier to ask him to change the way he sings than to tell him his singing stinks!

Especially if you also look to yourselves and think of ways you could change to improve the sound. In that way, he's not being singled out.

Just a thought...

[HoneyThick]

Thanks Tony. Well, he is flat a lot, but that is not the only problem people have with him. It's the lack of melody, the fact that it sounds like he is talking instead of singing the lyrics, and the lack of variation in cadence that people have cited as being problems. Also, the lyrics. I'm no good at coming up with lyrics or vocals melodies, so I'd be no help in those areas.

[TonyMiller]

Originally Posted by HoneyThick

Thanks Tony. Well, he is flat a lot, but that is not the only problem people have with him. It's the lack of melody, the fact that it sounds like he is talking instead of singing the lyrics, and the lack of variation in cadence that people have cited as being problems. Also, the lyrics. I'm no good at coming up with lyrics or vocals melodies, so I'd be no help in those areas.

Oh ok. So unless you want to be an Ian Dury tribute band, there's not much hope with him I suppose...

You're gonna have to make it quick but it won't be painless. Somehow he's got to see he's holding you back. But keeping him on the horns may not work, depending on how he takes it.

No easy solution to this, depends on whether you want to be bastards or not...

[HoneyThick]

I agree, there is no easy solution to all of this. We could just let it go, and keep enjoying making music together, with no expectations. I just don't know if I can do that, knowing what I now know.

[stiffjesus]

It's an unenviable and awkward position for you to be in to say the least HoneyThick. Hopefully your long friendship will help soothe any blows that may have to be dealt.

I know it's a cliched and easy thing to say from here but... you can't make an omelette without breaking an egg.

[HoneyThick]

Good point, Stiffjesus, but if you care about both the omelette AND the egg, deciding which is more important is the hard part.

[stiffjesus]

Pedantically speaking, it is actually possible to make an omelette and not break the egg.
If you make a small hole at the top and bottom of the shell and then blow the contents out into a bowl, the shell remains intact.

I'll stop with egg/omelette idioms now, 'cos I don't reckon it's helping you in your predicament much.

[geminiritual]

if he has been your friend for 25 years, he should understand that this is for the better of the project.

Honestly, I would let him know straight up, tell him the vocals are just not meshing, for the project to grow, we need a true vocalist, let him know what your concerns are with his style and performance.

I agree with the idea of trying to give him some direction, but if he has no vocal control, then it's kind of a lost cause, especially if he can't even hear that he is flat, that's an even bigger problem.

Terribly uncomfortable position to be in, I don't envy you, but, honesty is the best policy I would say.

[HoneyThick]

No, it's not helping, but at least it got a chuckle out of me.