Posted: 16 December 2004 at 3:24pm | IP Logged

Hi all

A new song edging towards completion, and no sign of a happy line anywhere.  I'd be interested to hear any comments on it.

Thanks

http://www.mp3unsigned.com/Showmp3.asp?mp3id=8419&aid=84 1

Posted: 16 December 2004 at 3:57pm | IP Logged

Really is beautiful, wistful melancholy.  Could relate with the lyrics... especially 'awakening to the sound of the crash'. You're a poet! Don't quite understand the end, though "We piece love together again in the dawn" ...aren't you finished with her by then? Shouldn't you just be piecing yourself together?

Posted: 16 December 2004 at 4:05pm | IP Logged

Thanks for the comments both of you.  Think it probably still needs something...but there you go.

Good question Valerie.  It's kind of about trying to put an end to something and going through the pain of that and then not being able to go through with it, kind of ad infinitum.  I think.  It doesn't really come across as it should.

Poets are people with talent, btw.

Posted: 16 December 2004 at 4:38pm | IP Logged

Ah! ad infinitum -- I can relate! And now it's even more interesting.

Two suggestions, then... "Yet or But or Still I found the courage...", and "We try to piece love together..."  I think I'd have gotten it then.

(Talent doesn't matter -- Doing matters.  Talent finds us when the moment is right.)

Best to you, Jon!