Things have not been too good for me lately. My father is ill with some sort of heart problem, my friend has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and has not got long left live, another member of my family has got some form of disease that is making her skeleton collapse and she is now in a wheel chair, and this is happening at an alarming rate. I have not been too well recently, getting chest pains, probably through stress. My finances are all over the place at the moment and the bank manager wants a chat, my work load has doubled at work, Im always tired, I have no energy, I have no inspiration, and I can't remember the last time I went out just to socialise, I have put on weight, generally feel like crap.

 

Now I appologise if this just seems like me feeling sorry for myself, but I can assure you that Im not. It's just that at the moment, every turn brings up bad news, something else to deal with, something else to sort out.

 

I feel low, depressed and just sick of everything in general, and I have had some pretty bad thoughts recently about ending it for once and for all.

 

I am not after sympathy, and Im not after answers, I just needed somewhere to write this down, and get it off my chest. I could have wrote this down on a piece of paper and put it in a drawer, but I decided to write it here. I have felt like this for about 3 months now and it's not getting any better. I am very, very unhappy.

 

Steve

 

 

Not true mate, I noticed you havent been around much, so dont run yourself down.

Do yourself a favour, go and read my recent post on depression in the rant section. You will see that your not alone.

Life can gang up on you sometimes, and just when you think its thrown everything at you it piles on some more. It happens to most people at some point in there life, and it seems to be your time.

In order to get through it you have to do the opposit of what your doing now, you have to get out and socialise, interact, make yourself do things that show life isnt all doom and gloom. Things wont magicaly get better, but life is a balancing act, to appreciate the realy good parts of anything you have to experience the bad.

What i would say to you is, all these people around you who are going through it at the moment need people around them to be strong for them. So as much as your justified in how you feel you have to fight and be strong.

If it gets much worse Steve then go and see a doctor. These things have a way of piling up and becoming completely out of hand....take it from someone who knows, me.

 

Anyway thats my tuppenceworth, and it does you good to have a rant about things, and what better place than here to do it.

 

Take care of yourself

 

Steve

 

I too have been were you are. The darkness envelopes you and the thoughts creep into your head that ending it will be better for you and everyone. NOT TRUE.

 

I do not suffer from depression, but when i was on a low, everything in the world was somehow my fault. thats hows bad it got.

 

I wont go into detail about all what happened, but needless to say 'Im still here'. I made a concerted effort to talk about my problems with those who i held close, and i also tried hard to think about the positive things in my life.

 

From what you have written, it does sound that a rough time is an understatement.

 

Try to be positive dude, and be as strong as you can for those who need you. Don't feel as if you can not give enough. Anything you can do for somenoe who is ill or in need, will take it with huge gratitude. and they will not feel better if you are not there.

 

Be strong steve, the days may seem long and black, but just like the seasons, they will get brighter fo longer.

 

Scott

heck thats what music is for anyway.. to extend a feeling.. (well at least at its best thats what its for)

many many peeps round here im noticing will fell what you are saying right around now..

you are never as alone as you may think you are.....

hang in there....