MP3Unsigned Message Board: Beat The System

Message

   Hi there,

I changed most of the sounds and the vocals of my Electronica/pop song BEAT THE SYSTEM:

http://www.mp3unsigned.com/showmp3.asp?mp3id=42046

because I was not happy with the first version which sounded too 80's and too dark. Is the message coming across? (it is about realizing that you are always surrounded by systems even in places you are not aware of it, like family and job, and it is my opinion that it makes sense to realize these systems and decide whether you want to play the role you are supposed to play or not).

Comments as always appreciated. 

Author	Message
tom joas * VIP * * VIP *"/> no means no Joined: 21 October 2005 Location: Burkina Faso Online Status: Offline Posts: 512	Topic: Beat The System Posted: 24 February 2007 at 5:43am
	Hi there, I changed most of the sounds and the vocals of my Electronica/pop song BEAT THE SYSTEM: http://www.mp3unsigned.com/showmp3.asp?mp3id=42046 because I was not happy with the first version which sounded too 80's and too dark. Is the message coming across? (it is about realizing that you are always surrounded by systems even in places you are not aware of it, like family and job, and it is my opinion that it makes sense to realize these systems and decide whether you want to play the role you are supposed to play or not). Comments as always appreciated.
	Songwriting Super Songwriter Tom Joas
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Stew Admin Group This is all my fault :) Joined: 21 December 2003 Location: United Kingdom Online Status: Online Posts: 8028	Posted: 24 February 2007 at 9:15am
	hows the weather in Burkina Faso Tom. I'm gonna be real critical, I found the percussion too wierd , thats just my ears of course. I'd like to hear it with no percussion at all. Because it does come across as dark. I'd lose the fade out on the end as well, and just take the vocal off on the last few bars, leaving just the keyboard sounds.
	Currently reactive, occasionally interactive, and aspiring to be proactive
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tom joas * VIP * * VIP *"/> no means no Joined: 21 October 2005 Location: Burkina Faso Online Status: Offline Posts: 512	Posted: 24 February 2007 at 10:42am
	Thanks for the comment. The snare is too loud, I agree, and I guess I was not sure whether this is a dance track or more rock/experimental, so the percussion is sort of dance oriented and does not really fit the vocals and the keyboard sounds. It is a dark theme, but a positive approach (I hope).
	Songwriting Super Songwriter Tom Joas
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tom joas * VIP * * VIP *"/> no means no Joined: 21 October 2005 Location: Burkina Faso Online Status: Offline Posts: 512	Posted: 24 February 2007 at 4:55pm
	...made some changes, turned down the snare, got some less percussion in it. i cannot imagine this song completely without percussion somehow...
	Songwriting Super Songwriter Tom Joas
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tom joas * VIP * * VIP *"/> no means no Joined: 21 October 2005 Location: Burkina Faso Online Status: Offline Posts: 512	Posted: Yesterday at 6:11am
	Thanks for the comments Mr. Dave Rave!
	Songwriting Super Songwriter Tom Joas
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Mark Holley * VIP * * VIP *"/> whispering symphony Joined: 15 March 2006 Location: United States Online Status: Offline Posts: 1104	Posted: Yesterday at 6:24am
	stopped by again TOM... left a thought or two...

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tom joas * VIP * * VIP *"/> no means no Joined: 21 October 2005 Location: Burkina Faso Online Status: Offline Posts: 512	Posted: Yesterday at 10:27am
	thanks mark! have to think about this percussion thing......still can't really imagine how the song should sound.
	Songwriting Super Songwriter Tom Joas
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tom joas * VIP * * VIP *"/> no means no Joined: 21 October 2005 Location: Burkina Faso Online Status: Offline Posts: 512	Posted: Yesterday at 4:43pm
	oh, and thanks tartan rascals! i first read "the song sucks big time", but then i saw that you wrote "the system sucks big time". in deed it does!
	Songwriting Super Songwriter Tom Joas
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