Twas the massacre before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the street
The reindeer were chopped, from their heads to their feet.
The clue were laid out and handled with care,
We realized a fat man was also found there.

The midgets were all round up and put in Van,
‘Cause visions of blood were found on their hands.
The cops took their stories, but still were in doubt,
Had just settled their brains to figure it out.

When out on the street there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the car to see what was the matter.
Away from the car door I flew like a flash,
and ran to the place where something had crashed.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, tied to the reindeer.

With a little old driver, now dead and gone,
I knew in a moment this case would be long.
More rapid than eagles the suspects they came,
a cop whistled, and shouted “The reindeers have names!”

“Here’s Dasher! Here’s, Dancer! Here’s, Prancer and Vixen!
here’s, Comet! Here’s, Cupid, here’s Donner and Blitzen!
on the top of their collars it’s all on the tag
Now dash away! Evidence stashed in this red bag

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So down from the roof-top the cops did insist,
Came the sleigh that’s now empty, along with this list.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the fire escape came a deer in a bound.

He was all bloody his fur, from his head to his hoof,
And his cuts were all bleeding and left trails on the roof.
A note with a message was pinned on his back,
And he looked like a crack addict that just had some crack.

His eyes-how they twinkled! his face was real scarey!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was blood red like the snow.

The stump of an axe he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke from his ears looked like a wreath.
We tried calming him down by rubbing his belly,
And lead him away with a bowlful of jelly!

In the van was chubby and jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I’d have something to dread.

He spoke not a word, as we went along with our work,
But the way he was looking made me feel like a jerk.
Then using his finger, he points to the note,
“You’d better watch out”, somebody wrote!

I sprang to the sleigh, to my team gave a whistle,
And away they went downtown like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!


Lyrics and vocal performance by Bob B. Wolf
Music written and performed by Forbidden Colours
AKA Wolf and Dragons
(C) 17/12/12